Am I really doing this? I guess so. This is me, holding nothing back and putting myself out there. And. It. Is. TERRIFYING. Am I afraid of being judged? Yes. Am I afraid of people knowing what is really going on with me? Yes. But more than fearing those things, I'm afraid of not being held accountable and not making the changes that I so desperately need to make. I am a perfectionist who has everything falling apart around me because if I can't do something perfectly I would rather not do it at all. I guess that is partially what has brought me to where I am today. This is going to be my new journal. One that I actually write in more than once every two months. Ha. I am going to make the changes that I need/want to make and I sincerely think that the only way for me to do that is to let people in. I've been fighting a battle within for years now. I feel ugly. Fat. Horrible. Tired. Undesirable. Moody. I want to feel beautiful. Motivated. Happy. Sexy (Yup I want that one). I understand that a lot of people feel that way a lot of the time. And don't get me wrong. I am happy in most areas of my life. I have the most loving and amazing husband around. I have two beautiful little girls who love their mommy more than anything. I have wonderful family and friends, but I HAVE to remember how to love me. I hope you don't read this and decide I'm too down on myself because while I'm being harsh I do have HOPE. I know my potential and THAT is what this is all about. I've been through a lot in my life and I've come out on top in a lot of areas. While this will mainly be about my successes and journey of weightloss, I know that other things will come into play. I love comments. I need the support and motivation. If there is anybody else who wants to join my journey with me I'll be your biggest supporter and fan. So here's the down-low. I am 25 years old, turning 26 in July. I weigh...nope I can't give a number yet because I'm too chicken. But I'll say I have a starting goal of 80 lbs to lose. I have a membership in an amazing program called SIMPLY FOR LIFE, I have joined a running group which starts this Thursday. I am signed up to do a 5km run on JUNE 12, and I signed up for a "Biggest Loser" Type contest that begins this weekend. Wow. Here I go, wish me luck and if you see me at the store, peek in my cart and make sure I am only buying healthy items. :)  |
| Me and my Dad at my graduation...looking good I'd say. |
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| Who is this person? My reflection is a stranger ... |
So I'm doing this. There's no going back now. Please comment. But be nice. WISH ME LUCK!!! I'll keep you posted!
You can do it!!! I wish I was there to help you out. Just know Katelyn and I support you fully! Oh, and the most important thing when eating healthy is portion sizes!! Never go back for seconds, and try to use small plates and bowls each meal and it will help you cut back. Love ya sis! Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteTaryn, you're great. In my life the times that I've really put "change" out there for other people to know about... I've stuck with it! GOOD LUCK. If I can do anything, let me know... Once the weather is nicer I'm always up for a brisk walk (way too unfit to do anything else while pregnant..haha)... I'm sending positive thoughts your way!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteGood for you!! I have no doubt you will be successful! I wish you the best of luck & look forward to being a part of your journey.
ReplyDeleteI've tried to keep track of my eating, etc lately....ugh! It gets annoying but it's definitely worth it - and eye opening!
You are still the same awesome you, no matter what you look like, but I totally sympathize with wanting to look better so you can feel better.
Love you tons! You'll do great!
~Hil
You are going to do great Taryn! We should do a walk once or twice a week once the weather officially warms up. I need the calorie burn too. And Christina is right, other people knowing about your goal holds you more accountable. I should tell people I want to loose 20 lbs and maybe it will happen! Love ya, you are such a great friend and I know you can reach your goal!
ReplyDeleteTaryn! I love this, and I love you! Your awesome no matter what of course and I fully support you! I know how hard it is to commit to something like this, it's a total life style change. You'll do awesome! and what a great motivator involving everyone around you to keep you going.
ReplyDeleteLove ya tons!!
You are so brave and awesome, I just love you and miss you! This kind of gave me some chills. . . and I am here, even though it's far away! I started a running blog, for the same reason. . . to be held accountable. . . then I kept it private so only I could see! ha. I am working on it, and you give me motivation to put myself out there too, and to stop "talking" and start "doing."
ReplyDeleteI'll be reading every step of the way!
taryn you are awesome! I really know EXACTLY how you feel! I am excited for you! cause once you start you are going to start feeling SO much better about yourself! good luck! and i can't wait to hear all about it!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I had to find this through blog stalking!! You can do it girl! Good luck!
ReplyDelete